RANT RANT RANT... that was your warning.

I don't like to rant... okay so everyone who knows me knows that's a lie (which I try not to make a habit of doing) but it's been a while so rant it is:
Why the Military Healthcare System sucks: (I've probably already blogged this before?)

1) it's free - (prime who don't pick their own providers) anything that's free, comes with an undesirable level of service, I mean you wouldn't want your real estate agent to list your house for free, you wouldn't want your mechanic to work on your car for free, and you certainly wouldn't want your dentist to drill into your teeth for free right?

2) if you decide to go standard chances are you'll get better service, but you also will no longer have access to that free stuff they call health care, (see #1) which may require you to adjust your budget and we all know how well those emergencies pop up with our children...

3) We don't use it enough in my family to warrant the necessity of having it free but the times we actually do need it (this is where the rant comes in) getting an appointment that isn't a few weeks out is like going to the dentist and having your teeth drilled.
today:
"well Mrs. Brown our first available appointment is not until the 26th, you can call in everyday at 6am to try and get something sooner"..... ARE YOU F'ING KIDDING ME!! I just told you the finger (middle finger which I want to show you right now) is swollen, it looks like someone lobbed off an extremely large mans finger and replaced mine with that one. There's a lump the size of BB in there so that makes it difficult to  make a fist (which if I could I'd like to punch you with).. Obviously this is what's in my head but instead I politely say, 6am everyday okay.. to which she says "or I could transfer you to the clinic directly to see if they have anything sooner"
I thought you just said first available was the 26th? Again what I want to say but instead I say "that would great".  Oh it doesn't get better upon transfer (did I mention I've already been on hold 12 minutes)..

4) When you are a professional receptionist/administrator/secretary (whatever you call yourself is fine with me) have a level of tact and decency to the PATIENT you are on the phone with... "yeah" and "maybe ummmmm" are not appropriate professional words.
So I once again explain the situation and he says "ummm looks like we don't have anything available with your Doc until the 23rd"  I say what about another doc? He says "yeahhhh, ummmm"  I don't even give him the chance I just say "so I should call the appointment line back or you make me an appointment" he says "yeah"    [deafening silence inserted here]    I say yeah...???? so I should call back? He says yeah, I say okay then he says okay and HANGS UP!

5) Back to it's FREE - so when it's completely free, (I'm totally generalizing here) people tend to take advantage, they go to the ER for a scrape (which I have done, so I'm guilty too) they schedule appointments for a 99 degree fever and a cough (which I've been guilty of too - hey first babies are scary when they get all crazy with a little temperature and a dog barking cough), but just maybe... if there was a minor co-pay for health care and treatment with the Military (even prime) and instead of saying oh you have free healthcare and here's what it equals out to in your pay for the year... GIVE IT TO THE SOLDIER IN HIS PAY, then he can choose his health care for his family.

6) Because I'm on Prime if I decided I wanted to go to a healthcare provider in Tricares network off post and even would agree to a co-pay, Tricare says I'm not allowed because I have prime.
And if I did that without asking permission and asked that Doc to bill my insurance, Tricare would come back and say "no we aren't paying that she didn't ask permission"....


How's that Obamacare working out for everyone? Do you experience the same discontent??
Medical insurance even with Gov't. assistance on it has turned out to be extremely expensive for a large majority of hard working Americans... If I tried to insure my family of 6 with Colorado's Healthcare help... whatever it is.... the cost is roughly $900 a month!!! HOLY CRAP! AND THAT'S NOT EVEN ANY DENTAL COVERAGE!!! How the hell is anyone supposed to afford that?



Further, Free health care that's what happens when it's free.... waiting forever to be seen, the doc gives you 20 minutes of their time (15 of which is spent going over previous medical history and height and weight), you get an "eh" diagnosis, or none at all I've actually been told "I can't figure out what it is" Only a week later to discover the idiot that did a spinal tap on me punctured through my spinal cord and I had a leak.. that an SF Doc fixed for me in 5 minutes after a week of agonizing pain and "we don't know what it is"......

I just hate it.... Don't get me wrong I am grateful to have healthcare I truly am and my kids pediatricians have always been pretty decent for the most part.... except when Emily was a baby and the shot person gave her an extra shot of HIB instead of the shot she was suppose to get... or that time Aiden was literally projectile vomiting and they had us sit in the ER covered in vomit for 3 hours while we waited for him to be seen.

Where was I going with this?? Oh yeah... I think that I'd rather have the what ever amount of money they say my husbands coverage is a year included in his pay and we can pay co-pays and pick service providers.

What Could Possibly Be Next?

Agh.... Ebola in TX, Enterovirus 68 affecting children in CO, MA, NY and who knows where else that hasn't been reported yet? ISIS on the loose in Iraq and Syria. Our current POTUS promising "no boots on the ground" which seems likely to be some kind of statement that will end up going down in history as one he shouldn't have ever made since guess what.... we have boots on the ground!! Then there's the Ebola in Africa where they've now found it necessary to send our troops to help build treatment facilities and tend to the infected. My thoughts on this... you don't want to hear them, they start with F end with YOU!! and no thanks. I'm not too concerned that Andy will have to do either of these things at this point so that's a small reprieve from the normal uncertainty that comes along with being a military spouse when you hear things like troop movement and deployment and sending troops. I am concerned however, that a few of my friends husbands may have to be in one of these places.  I'm not really sure if it was Andy which one I would think was worse? At this point everything seems dangerous, but fight the enemy he knows or the biological enemy he doesn't know. Scary world we're living in these days.
But, we drive on.
I had a moment of clarity in my morning this morning as I sat here at my desk reviewing the latest and greatest Eco Cabins Floor Plans and looking over renderings that quite frankly need to be re-done and contemplating weather or not I should mark through them or wait for President Business to arrive. The mountains that I see everyday never become less than perfect in my eyes every time I look at them and sitting here in this moment, the clarity is... I have a pretty decent life. 
I'm surrounded by beautiful scenery here, I have a career here, I have some pretty great kiddos (well for the most part, currently my 10 year old has managed to make me yank out a few select sections of hair- oh you know the usual, can't find homework, talking in class etc etc.), my husband is the best I could ask for. He never really complains about much of anything except when the kids don't help out around the house or he's feeling a little cranky. For the most part he's supportive of what I've been up to and is happy as long as I'm making money. I have amazing co-workers, a very supportive team. And I have the bestest friend you could ask for right around the corner, so I can go have coffee, watch shows, and make her cook dinner for everyone 2 or 3 nights a week. And when I need to vent right now, she's right there. Don't get me wrong I do have more than one bestest friend. I have 2, the other one just lives across the country. He also gets to hear me vent and bitch but I picture him holding the phone 2-3inches from his ear, throwing back shots of CPT because I imagine when I call and he sees its me he says shit and a just skips adding the coke. 
In any sort of other reality I can't picture life being any better than this? Well except with a ton of money and no worries. But would it really be a life worth living if we didn't have something to worry about? 
I'm worried about college right now.... graduating senior.... who knew this year would be so damn expensive? I hope this will matter to me in 6 months? Why you ask? Ebola scares the hell out of me.... on that note, off to buy more hand-sanitizer. 

Tragedy In The Real Estate Community

Today we learned that Beverly Carter Real Estate Agent from Arkansas was killed. After searching for her and finally arresting the suspected kidnapper, the police were able to find where she was located. Her body was found in a shallow grave 25 miles from her last known location, where her car and purse were found. It's a terrible tragedy and I feel so bad for her husband. She told him where she would be and when she didn't come home he reported it and the police started their search.
I try to think about what I do when showing homes. I think about how many times I may have put myself in dangerous situations? How many times have I walked into a home first? How many times have I not told anyone where I would be? How many times have I not brought my gun with me? How many times have a met a client at a property before actually meeting them? How many of my clients know where my home is? What am I doing to protect myself? What am I doing to protect my clients?
These are all the things I need to review in my head to remind myself to be more diligent. To remind myself that not everyone in the world is genuine.
As Real Estate Professionals we are just thinking about what we want to do to help someone find their dream home. Or sell their home. We are not thinking about the fact that we don't really know who we are working with sometimes. In the moment where someone is calling you excited about purchasing a home, you're not thinking about "what if this person wants to kill me?" You're thinking about everything that needs to be done to make the purchase run smoothly.
I've been making my mental list this morning and writing things down to try to come up with a better plan to make sure, even though I'm there to find everyone their dream home, that I am ready and willing to protect myself.

1) Pre-qualify them with a lender: then you know their credit has been ran and you have that lender looking out for your safety as well. AND you have SOMEONE who has their name, social, address and everything about them.
2) Leave the addresses of homes you are showing with at least 2 people plus someone in the office: This allows 2 different people the opportunity to check on you throughout you showing day.
3) Text/Call my 2 people when leaving each home headed to the next: They can track your movement that way.
4) Keep my cell phone at the ready to be able to hit that emergency button: Automatically connects to 911 so at least the line is open and they can dispatch police.
5) NEVER SHOW A STRANGER HOMES: Face to face office meets are necessary so that someone else has seen the face of the person you are showing homes to.
6) If you absolutely must show a home without an office meet (like one of your own listings someone called off the sign) it's a texting day in age: at least have them text a copy of their DL so you can have it and leave it with your 2 people.
7) SELF DEFENSE COURSES RETAKE THEM!!!
8) Concealed CARRY IS A MUST!!! No matter if it makes the client uncomfortable. Find them a new real estate agent.
9) YOU ARE FIRST!! THEY ARE SECOND!!! Show homes only during the day. Set your hours, if they can't work with you during those hours YOU DO NOT NEED THAT CLIENT!! You cannot possibly help everyone.
10) Know your surroundings! Look for every possible exit and retreat from the property before you show it. Never walk in the home first.
11) THIS IS YOUR LIFE AND YOUR BUSINESS MAKE IT SO! Do it your way. Or don't do it!!

Food for thought and I'm going to keep revising my plan and perfecting it. Stay alert stay alive. Now I'm not saying this is the norm because it isn't every one of my clients has been amazing. However, my gut NEVER lies to me. There's been a couple times in my real estate career I have given showings and clients to men in my office or a team because I didn't feel comfortable taking that client out. And when my gut says "Bran, this is not a good idea, something is not right" I LISTEN. 

so what am I doing then?

The mind is a terrible thing to waste... it always stands out to me, it always has. But the reality of the situation is I just cannot grasp why this seems so crucial to me, yet I'm so bla-zay about it. I mean seriously... what. am. i. doing. with. myself. right. now. that. has. any. relivancy. over. life? When am I going to pull myself out of this rut that has become my day to day? When am I going to stop letting nay-sayers hold me back and finally grab onto the firery reigns of hell and go for it? When am I going to start realizing my dreams and full potential? When am I going to stop whining about what I can't do and start living what I can do? When am i going to wake the hell up???

When will I ever get there? This is my pity me for the moment blog... but I don't live here... why don't I live here? Because I'm damn better than that, and for all the stupid shit I've been through and done in my life, it seems that I've done a few things at least right and that must count for something... right? 

I just can't imagine what it is I'm suppose to take away from turning on this computer and logging into a blog that I haven't touched since January 2, 2014? That seems odd that at this very moment in time I would find it necessary to take myself here to remember what it actually looks like and what the last thing I may have posted was. Looks like the same old same old, but for some reason I feel like I have something to say... and it feels like something that every one should get the opportunity to hear me say... oh I know, I now have goals and ambitions... we will see if my argumentative brain has any discouraging words to crush the fire I feel inside... like its my time... I gotta do something....

Stay tuned... I don't have all the answers yet.... but, I have cool shit in mind....

2013 Year In Review

Another year has come and gone and I can't help but wonder where the time goes? It seems to move much faster the older I get and I'm not happy with that. But I had a very good 2013 as did my family and I thought I'd take a moment to share it with all of you before my dementia kicks in and I forget it all.
Lets see.... 2013 started with a New Year's Eve party since Andy and the rest of the 110th had finally returned from Afghanistan in December of 2012. Yep he's been home a year and there's no deployments on the horizon (knock on wood). I got to spend time with some of my favorite girls and we had a blast, did up the New Year right and rocked in 2013. 

Shortly after the New Year started, my dearest friend Jean had a stroke. It was very scary for everyone. Normally I wouldn't put her business out there like this but it's important for me to share with all of you the signs of a stroke and how you might be able to save someone's life. I was able to get Jean to the hospital in time for them to administer TPA Drug (which can reverse the effects of a stroke if given within 4 hours of the stroke). In hindsight I should've called 911 and I should've done it when I was on my way to her house and she could not communicate with me on the phone. It took her a couple of weeks in the hospital and a few months of therapy to be fully recovered but she is doing better now. I'm thankful to have her and Dylan in our lives.


Momma (GMA Toni) came to visit us in March, she tried to leave, ended up having to catch a plane right back to Colorado Springs from Dallas on the day she left due to massive snow storms that basically attacked the entire northern US.

It's VEGAS BABY!! I took my first ever girls get away vacation! I went to Vegas with my Bestie Jeanie. I couldn't believe I went anywhere without my kids!! Andy did really well the entire week I was gone and they all survived! It was my first time to Vegas and I had a blast! Did some gambling, drank a lot, acted like a tourist, stayed up all night, slept very little and just enjoyed everything about it. We went for NASCAR weekend of course so not only did I go to Vegas for the first time but I also went to my first ever NASCAR Race! I got to see Dale JR. race it was awesome! There is nothing quite like the rev of car engines and them zooming by you, and there is for sure nothing like NASCAR Fans!!!

The rest of the Spring saw cool temps and us getting ready for summer. Baseball season for Billy and Dylan was great! They played a really good season and only lost like 3 games.

 Nelson came to visit which we enjoyed. He got here just in time to watch Billy play at SkySox Stadium for Little League.

Colorado saw another devastating fire happen local to us. Many wild fires happened but the Black Forest Fire hit very close to home. We helped Jean pack up her home and come stay with us for a few days as everyone was uncertain which way the fire was going to travel. 500 homes were lost. Many people were displaced, but Black Forest has started to rebuild. 

This summer we visited Missouri. We spent time with Grandpa Dickie and Grandma Gail who had just moved back to MO and bought a big house with lots of land for the kids to play. We had a lot of fun! Well, minus that snake I ran into leaf blowing. That was not fun. We also went to Ben & Amanda's for 4th of July.

After returning home to Colorado, we packed right back up and headed for Mississippi with Jeanie & Dylan to visit Aunt Carolyn and Aunt Kathy. While in Mississippi, we took an over night trip to Nashville, TN and saw Uncle Donald and Aunt Kristen. This summer was full of vacation and fun times We had a summer to remember for sure.

Grace reached huge milestones this year! She started kindergarten and turned 5 years old!

Emily also had a big year as she turned Sweet 16! And got her driver's permit at the end of this year.  It's crazy for me to think that this little girl of mine is becoming quite the young lady, is a junior in high school, is driving and will graduate next year! Who Knew? 

The boys are doing great as well. In fact we're all doing pretty well. 

Andy works a lot as usual. We see shift work again, which we all hate but we survive. 

I got my real estate license in July. I decided to take some huge leaps in my career this year. I made a move to a new company called Z, Inc., in September. It is a venture capital company and business consulting firm. It's the parent company to Eco Cabins LLC, which I've been left to my own devices with. You'll have to check out our websites and FB pages to learn more about that. I love both companies and all the other opportunities that have been made available to me through the move. In November I decided after much thought and consideration to transfer my real estate license to a new company that I thought would help me better build the future I am looking to for myself and my family. Nextage Realty Pikes Peak Properties is where I now call home for my real estate license. With my moves I took my first ever business trip and have been enjoying the crash courses in business management, building and marketing I've received over the past few months. 

We saw good friends leave us this year. Particularly Starre and her family moved away. Jean G. and her family moved away. And Rachel and her family moved away. That is the part of the Army I never really can get use to, it's always sad to say goodbye. I miss you ladies.

In November, I had to take a rush trip home to NY. My Papa passed away and next to my Nana that is the hardest thing I've had to go through. I take comfort knowing that he is with her now and they both watch over me from Heaven. I know they are quite proud of the woman I've become.

The end of the year was easy peasy. We celebrated Thanksgiving with friends, we enjoyed our Christmas together as a whole family and we rang in the New Year excited as ever about what our next year holds. I hope this finds all of you well and enjoying the first couple days of your new year. 

"Give Me Revelation"

I've always considered myself someone who believes in a power greater than myself. Some people call it the Gods plural, some say it's Mother Nature, some say it's aliens, for me it's always been God. I was taught God created everything, the earth, the Heaven and that someday when I die I would go there, I would see all the people I've lost in my life and who wouldn't want to believe in something that incredible? When I was young, I was baptized as a Catholic and made First Communion as many young kids do. I was afraid of God at that time in my life. I was afraid of this great big church and I was afraid of the great man in the robe we called Father Hartnet, our Priest. I was afraid of that confessional and saying ALL OF THOSE Hail Mary and Our Father Prayers as penance for my sins. I went astray from the church. When I was 15 I lived with a pastor and his wife, they are awesome people. I got saved, I told everyone I believed that Jesus died on the cross for my sins and that through his death I am saved from my sins. Ah, seems lovely, but in all practicality as a teenage girl it didn't really mean a whole lot in my heart. I still did what wasn't really considered "Godly". I drank, I smoked, I had sex (before marriage), I cussed (like a sailor), I did drugs and I really didn't give a crap what people thought of it. I did all the things I had been told would get me a one way ticket to hell. But I had been told that as long as I believed that Jesus died for my sins that I would be forgiven and get into Heaven.
For many years I strayed from religion. I didn't have a desire really to build my relationship with God, I didn't really know if I believed in my relationship with him? I couldn't fathom why he would ever let anything bad happen to me if I was this child he loved so much? I went through so many trials and tribulations and all the while I thought I could do it on my own. Or I would pray to God only as a last resort instead of making it my first choice. There are so many things in my life that I let get in the way of me building a relationship with the only man in my life that will never forsake me, never leave me, always lift me up when I fall, always stand by my side when I walk the road of life with my head up, and the man that will carry me when I feel like I just can't go on anymore. Ah, you would think I was talking about my husband and to an extent my husband does those things for me, and God says he's suppose to do those things, but men are imperfect and he just can't be every single thing I need in my life at every moment in my life. The only man in my life that can do that is God. Ah, and where has God been the last however many years of my life I was doing all the things I shouldn't be doing? He's always been there for me, it's just been up to me to call on him. I still stray from religion, organized religion scares me. Someone telling me how I should be Godly or how I should be a Christian doesn't work for me. Someone telling me the Bible instead of allowing me to read it for myself, scares me, because are they really telling me what the Bible says? Someone telling me that I must attend church, that I must give 10% of my income to the church that I must go to Bible Study, that I must have my kids baptized or see them burn in hell is FREAKY!!! Who wouldn't RUN from the Lord with all of those conditions placed on you? Statistics are showing these days that many people are turning to Atheism and away from Christianity and why? Because of the lip service Christians provide. You know the Christians that attend church on Sunday and judge the rest of us who, drink, smoke, wear jeans in the house of God, spank or yell at our kids, and do other things they think are wrong. Just for the rest of us to see those same Christians screaming in the parking lot of the local Walmart at their kids. I'm a believer in if you talk the talk you should walk the walk. Now, you're asking me in your head what I'm talking about because you know I cuss, you know I yell at my kids (a lot), you know I drink, you know I like to have fun and you know there are a lot of things in my life that judgmental Christians wouldn't approve of. I'd be lying if I said I am running the path of the straight and narrow and that I'm never going to say the F word again and I'm never going to lose my temper with my kids and I'm done having a drink with dinner or going out with friends. And do I really need to add liar to my list of judgments that God will ultimately make on me? Yes I am saved by the Grace of God and the death of Jesus Christ, I am worthy and I get Grace for free, I don't have to "earn" it. God wants me to walk the path he has set for me, that he decided for me before I was born. But he knows I'm human, he knows I will stumble and fall he knows that I'm not PERFECT and he loves me anyway. And he says to me that if I confess my sins to him they will be forgiven. And now you're thinking... that sounds good, but your God forgives a guy who murders someone as long as he confesses it? Not exactly, God says that when you ask forgiveness you have to truly believe it in your heart, and that you're not suppose to do it again. So just saying yeah, I'm sorry I killed that guy doesn't get you your ticket into heaven.
Where am I going with this blog? Here's where........ It's about me!! Yes I'm being selfish (imagine that), but I'm being selfish in a different way. What do I mean? I mean recently I decided to attend the base chapel (air force base here called Peterson), I took my kids on their retreat and we had a good time. Then I went to Church a bit, then I tried the MOPS Group then I tried PWOC then I got sick, then I made excuse after excuse not to go to church or do any of it..... but this little voice inside me kept telling me I needed something, I needed some strength and I needed to figure out where it was going to come from. So I went to church, and the voice got louder, it said what do you need? How can you be strong for your family if you yourself are not strong? How can you convince others to have faith in you if you have no faith in yourself or anything else? Then I saw Pat. Pat is one of the Chaplin's wife and she is a minister herself. She told me I should try the PWOC (Protestant Women Of the Chapel) Group again, that they were just starting a new study and she was teaching one of them. So the voice got even stronger, and I thought but its early and I don't want to get out of bed that early.... but the voice said "you need this" so I went... and I went again and now I've been going for a month straight. And the voice inside me is even louder, and stronger!!! I've been reading my Bible. I got The Message Bible as a gift and it reads more like a story instead of verses with all those thees and thines etc. I can't understand in King James. Now, for some people King James is the only Bible to read but for me that doesn't work. Some people love hymnals, but for me Christian Contemporary and Rock is the only way to listen to music. And you know what, I'm listening to that voice a lot harder now. It's making a difference in my life. Little differences many people won't notice now. For example I'm cussing less (that doesn't mean I've stopped) but b/c of my changes and my new feelings toward God, I just don't feel right swearing. And when I do, I really honestly stop and think ew, I shouldn't do that, I don't need to do that, Lord I'm sorry and I'm really trying hard to be better. I've tried to stop yelling so much at my family. It's hard, they push my buttons and anxiety and anger are some things that I need to work on as I continue to build my faith but I'm actually making a serious effort to not yell so much. Some of you will be skeptics and I don't blame you, I too have been a skeptic of what having faith can do for me in my life. But I've found a place I belong, I'm not judged, no one cares if I wear jeans to church, and while they miss me if I don't come, no one says you must attend or judges me for not being there. I'm okay writing my check for what I can afford as an offering and signing it instead of feeling bad if it's only $5.00. I'm blessed. I truly believe that I am blessed and that is all I can offer you if you are skeptical of me right now. I know I'll stumble, I know I'll fall, I know my FB posts and blogs won't be all rainbows and roses but I also know that as I grow my faith the more peace and wonderful things I'll have in my life and the more at peace with myself I'll feel. That's why it's about me. It's about this relationship I want to have with God, it's about this feeling of peace I want to have, you can't even imagine how great I feel right now? I can't even explain it? So the title of my blog is "Give Me Revelation".... at the bottom of my blog is a song list and there is a song of this same title. For me music and song lyrics are how I relate life.  So here are the lyrics b/c this is how I have been feeling for so long and things are finally beginning to make sense to me..... Have a listen...
Revelation by Third Day
"My life, 
Has led me down the road that's so uncertain
And now I am left alone and I am broken, 
Trying to find my way, 
Trying to find the faith that's gone
This time, 
I know that you are holding all the answers
I'm tired of losing hope and taking chances, 
On roads that never seem, 
To be the ones that bring me home

Give me a revelation, 
Show me what to do
Cause I've been trying to find my way, 
I haven't got a clue
Tell me should I stay here, 
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I've got nothing without You
I've got nothing without You

Has led me down this path that's ever winding
Through every twist and turn I'm always finding, 
That I am lost again (I am lost again)
Tell me when this road will ever end

Give me a revelation, 
Show me what to do
Cause I've been trying to find my way, 
I haven't got a clue
Tell me should I stay here, 
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I've got nothing without You
I've got nothing without... 

I don't know where I can turn
Tell me when will I learn
Won't You show me where I need to go
Oh oh
Let me follow Your lead, 
I know that it's the only way that I can get back home

Give me a revelation, 
Show me what to do
Cause I've been trying to find my way, 
I haven't got a clue
Tell me should I stay here, 
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I've got nothing without You
I've got nothing without You

Oh, give me a revelation... 

I've got nothing without You
I've got nothing without You"

Ah, A new year has arrived. While I'd like to believe that I will blog more this year, I am not making any promises that I will probably break.


Last year held some exciting events for the Brown Family. We FINALLY sailed off (or flew off rather) that terrible Island of Oahu (that I do kind of think about fondly from time to time now). I miss my Ms. Liz & Mr. Charlie, Sherrie & Phil and of course my Barb & Dave (who have since gone back to Germany on their next adventure), but not before visiting us in Colorado for one good Patron night :).

We had a house built for us (over the phone) here in Colorado Springs and closed it in June 2011. We love it, it's amazing, it's big and it's just perfect for us. Five Bedrooms, finished basement w/rec room, loft for Andy and I with our giant flat screen and Lazy Boy Recliners and 3 1/2 bathrooms, kitchen with island and a decent sized fenced in yard. Not to mention a view of Pike's Peak. It's just wonderful.

Andy got a new truck shortly after we bought the house, well the same weekend actually. It's a Titan he loves it, it's perfect for him and as he says, it's the only thing he owns that is just his.

My brother Donald got married to his long time sweetheart Kristen Wiltse this summer. I demanded that I get off of that damn island in time to be there for the nuptials and my loving husband made it happen. Thankfully I had some extra help from Momma Gail with the kiddos and we got to spend some time in MO with my Sis-in-Law Amanda & family and of course the Webb's and Gowen's. It was cold in MO when we got there, well I thought it was, everyone there just figured I was crazy. I did forget how excruciatingly painful and HOT it can be in TN that time of year though, and even though it was just the end of May, it felt like mid July! Lucky for us we got to TN just in time for the cicadas to hit and they were EVERYWHERE!! It was quite the experience. We got to visit with Nelson too while we were in TN, but shortly after my brothers wedding, he too packed up his life and moved to GA where he got offered a job he couldn't refuse. My brother and his bride had quite the lovely wedding though. I am so happy for them.


After closing the house we headed straight up to NY to get my LEO BUDDY and to see my BABY BABY Sister Amber Jean graduate high school. She looked lovely and I'm so proud of her. HHS has a new auditorium, it looks nice, it was very strange visiting one of my old Alma maters. As much as I miss my family, I don't miss Upstate NY very much. A big thanks to my sis Ang and her hubby Jim for letting us stay a few days and for taking care of my big fat ass dog! Even though, I think it's your fault he's fat now.

We headed back to Momma Gail's in NE, she knows that I couldn't possibly thank her enough for all that she did this summer, keeping the kids, driving half the country with me, but I'll say it again anyway, you are much appreciated.


We moved in finally at the very end of June, right after celebrating our 9th Anniversary and my 34th Birthday.. Yeah I turn the big 3-5 this year.. scary! The kids have adjusted well, made friends and seem to be enjoying their schools. I think they are all happy they are in different schools from each other this year. Can you believe my Emily is a freshman and Billy isn't far behind? Furthermore can you believe that Grace will start school in the fall of 2013?? CRAZY!! Aiden is in 2nd... man where does the time go?



We've had a few visitors already. Mom and Aunt Margo came to visit and painted all of the kids rooms while they were here. We love them, and thank you both for all the time and effort you spent. It never goes unnoticed.




Ms Liz visited us too!! Although, I feel your visit was ENTIRELY TOO SHORT, I was glad to spend time with you and thankful to you for making me look amazing for the Ball Andy and I attended.


I'm looking forward to many of you visiting us this year.


We've been prepping for yet another long separation from each other.. cheer up peeps, don't be sad, we're out of Iraq now and that's one less war zone for us to be in... although I'm not thinking it would be to far fetched to say we could end up in some others? This separation won't be quite as long as the last 4 have been, there will be no R&R, which may be a blessing, since we won't have to say 2 goodbyes. Yes he is headed over the ocean and of course you all know since this is the Internet, that's all you get here. We are very happy to be part of a line MP Company again. I decided to join up into the FRG again. I started as a POC but you guys know me, I just think things have to be better than okay and families deserve to have a really great FRG, so I volunteered to be FRG LDR after a little while. Some other awesome ladies have also volunteered their time so I'm excited about it. I really do enjoy helping other families like mine. Plus I've already made some really great friends that I would trust with my kids lives. And, I like our Chain of Command, they seem level headed, committed to the soldiers and their families and determined to have a successful mission. I actually TRUST THEM!!! I'm not easily impressed but it seems this company is going to do good things. Lord knows they've been training and prepping like crazy.

Speaking of the Lord, I've strengthened my faith a bit this year. I have a long way to go yet, but I've started to go to church. Peterson Air Force Base has a great contemporary non-denominational Christian service on Sundays. The kids and I went on a retreat with the church and we loved it. Had a blast, met some great people. I still have a hard time getting fully involved, I'm a bit gun shy considering I had stepped away from church and religion for so long. I think that's why I like this service, b/c most of the people attending are military so we have a common bond there, and it's not you must be a Catholic, or a Protestant or a Methodist or whatever... you can just go and BE and listen to the message, and talk and walk with God how you feel comfortable without judgment. Plus I get to wear jeans to service so that's great for me too and they don't care if Grace gets antsy or loud lol.

I'm content right now where I am, where we are in our lives. 2011 was a crazy ride. I'm excited to see what 2012 brings for us. We will celebrate BIG THINGS this year. Andy and I will be married 10 YEARS this June, some of you placed bets we wouldn't make it past 6 months.. did you ever pay up??? I will turn 35 and while it feels like I'm getting old, at the same time, I'm realizing I need to grab my life by the balls and embrace the now, because I still have a LONG way to go before old age puts me in a grave. Billy will become a teenager at the end of this year. Emily will be 15 which is old enough for a permit in Colorado apparently? SCARY I KNOW!! Aiden and Grace will celebrate another year in their beautiful, carefree young lives.


That's all I have for now, I'm sure I'll post some bitchy madness over the course of the next 12 months but I'm hoping to also bring you some laughs and good things to report.




Until we meet again dear friends, I wish you love, happiness, peace and contentment in your own life, and I wish us both many many more years of friendship with each other. LOVE TO ALL. 

Walgreens & Tricare Benefits

I received a letter from Walgreens today that upset me. Apparently Walgreens is no longer going to be an approved network pharmacy for Tricare. I think this is a travesty considering how amazing Walgreens prescription services are. They are fast, friendly and efficient AND because their systems are all linked together it doesn't matter where in the US I go each Walgreens knows what I'm allergic to and what medications I'm currently taking. This is beneficial because they know exactly what drugs I can take together and what ones may be harmful to me because of my allergies. I know many Tricare members get their prescriptions on military installations however, I would urge you to go to your local Walgreens and sign the petition to keep them in our network. This summer during our PCS move both of my daughters got strep throat. We were seen in the ER in St. Louis. Now, most people know that you have to go to a pharmacy to have a script filled b/c the ER doesn't fill them. I chose to go to a Walgreens near by. Both of the girls scripts were $8.00 total b/c we have Tricare and b/c I used the Walgreens pharmacy. Since I had used them before the process was quick and they asked me if Emily was still taking her other medication which she was not. Two weeks ago I went to Walgreens for a ZPac b/c I had a sinus infection. I could've drove all the way to Ft. Carson and sat waiting at the pharmacy and got it for free, but I decided to go to the Walgreens next to my dentist office. Fifteen minutes and $4.00 later I was out the door. AND they said "Mrs. Brown are you allergic to iodine" I said not that I'm aware they said "well we just notice you're allergic to Keflex and this drug had iodine in it like Keflex so we wanted to make sure the allergy wasn't iodine related." They checked and rechecked and it made me feel very confident in that pharmacy. I just don't think you get that level of care at other places? I would urge all Tricare members to sign the petition to keep Walgreens in our network you can go to www.ichoosewalgreens.com click the TRICARE button and sign the petition to let DOD and Express Scripts(the provider of prescription services for TRICARE) that we want the right to choose Walgreens as a network pharmacy provider. Below you can read Walgreens letter to us.

HMM

Its not the same as it in my head. Taking the thoughts and slapping them down into words takes more thought than I sometimes think I'm really willing to do. Probably because as vocal as I am about things, I still feel like I need to filter when I'm talking about personal stuff. When I'm talking about how I'm feeling or talking about my family or my friends. I don't know why that is? I don't know why I have to do that? I don't really think I do? But since it's in internet land that may be why? When it's in my head I can take it back, change it if I want. Once it hits cyberspace it's there, for everyone to see, no taking it back, no letting it go. That's the thing with people, we don't forget. So even if we are forgiven for speaking out of turn or the wrong way of someone, they will never forget it, and it will always be somewhere inside of them stored away, waiting for you to screw up again..... Wouldn't it be so much easier if we could just say Dear Diary and let that be that? Let it not be a crucifixion if you think out loud. It's just must easier to type and less tiresome on your writing hand if you type it out into a blog. So here we all are blogging away, but never really saying to the fullest what we're thinking........

just thinking...

Notice I always blog when I'm in reflection....

I have a daughter starting HIGH SCHOOL!! What happened where did time go to? My baby Emily is a FRESHMAN!! It's completely got me thinking of all the things I did... of all the things I don't want her to do... of all the things I should've done and didn't. Of all those people that watched me grow into who I am today.
By the time I was Emily's age I thought I had been in love twice. I thought that I would be best friends with my inner circle for life and that we would buy houses next to each other, have kids at the same time and grow old together on the same street. Turns out, I wasn't "in love" I was learning what love was about. I am still FB friends with most of the people that were in my inner circle, but we've grown and gone different directions and I don't think any of us live on the same street? I thought that my hair and clothes were important, that who liked me was more important and that if I didn't have my friends I had nothing in life. Turns out, fashion changes, and the only thing important about my wardrobe is that it doesn't have kid snot, spit or vomit on it, and it has limited dog hair over it. And while having friends is important, having family is the most amazing thing I've ever done in my life. Trusting that there are a few people that if I said COME NOW I NEED YOU... they would without hesitation, really is all you need. But I know that it's nice to see old familiar faces on FB and to see all of those lives and where they are today and be happy knowing we all survived our teenage years.

As I think about Emily starting high school I keep thinking back to everything I did then.. Everything I remember and all the women who tried to tell me so and I was not listening.... as Brad Paisley says "its safe to say that, I'll get my payback" .... I am!!
So I'd like to say thank you to my mother who.... told me that Jason Butler was not the end of the world and that I would have many boyfriends in my life. I remember thinking.. you have no idea what you're talking about!!  My mother who immediately told all of my aunts when I needed a training bra and when I got my period.. I remember thinking she is the most embarrassing woman in the world. My mother AND dad who hated Greg Whitwer.. all over some un-shoveled steps. I would like to say sorry to my sisters for ruining it for every guy that had the courage to walk into our parents home... we're still hearing about that today, it was like 21 years ago, you think they'd get over it??     My mother who did not approve of that Donahue Boy!! Who told me he wasn't good for me and who grounded me over and over again... I remember thinking BUT I LOVE HIM....   hmmm... turns out.... we weren't good for each other, and we both survived our horrible break up. Chad you are always in my memories. My Mom who thought my friends were crazy but let them all stay at our house almost every weekend, who took us to dances, who took us to the skating rink who bit her tongue more times than she cared to.....
Mom, remember that time we came home from the dance it was like 80 degrees and I was wearing a turtleneck? Lol... that was dumb... I hope my daughter never comes home with a hickey, I may lose my mind just like you did.....
There were so many times I thought you were unfair that I thought you didn't understand that I didn't like you very much.... looking back, when you told me to keep my hair out of my face, I shoulda listened cuz I hate it when Emily is eating and her hair hangs on her plate, when you said you can be anything in the world you want to be, and why don't you be a lawyer and buy me a big house, I should've listened, I may be done paying off law school by now..... but I think I did pretty good this way....
when you told me not to kiss that boy, I should've walked away, cuz you knew he'd break my heart and I'd be devastated... took me a long time to get over that one....
when you told me, don't sign anything... I should've listened, slept on it then picked Germany as my first duty station. I still would've chose MP and still would've signed the paper anyway. When you said are you sure you want to marry him.... I should've thought long and hard about that, I don't regret those babies but I wish I would've been more grown up before I got married that first time.
Momma you've been more important to me than I ever could've known at 13 or 15 or even 18... but I know it now b/c my 14 year old thinks i'm unfair, uncool, miserable, old and that I am trying to ruin her life... think one day she'll tell me I'm cool again? I love you momma

theres some other people that were crucial to me being me and to me growing up.
Gram, she always knew when I was bullshitting her.... damn it!! I hope I have half her skill as a bullshit detector....
Aunt Shelly - tell it like it is, you listened to everything I ever had to say, you told me exactly what you thought and you set me straight when I didn't have a clue.... turns out I needed you in my life.
Donna - thanks for getting me through my Jr. and Sr. year, for taking me to the hospital when I broke my foot racing out to that boys car... thanks for letting me cry and calling same said boy a jerk when he broke my heart and then telling me I shouldn't talk to him ever again, but giving me the phone every time he called after that. Thanks for getting me ready for Prom, and NOT laughing at my hair, even though I think you were lying when you said it looked great.... Thanks for helping me with graduation and driving with me to college that first day.

Now that I'm grown I still have challenges and freak outs, they're just very different. Now I look at EMILY and its like looking in the mirror at a 14 year old version of MYSELF! That, I hate you, you're stupid, roll your eyes, talk under your breath, brat ass teenager I once was.... KARMA.. it's all karma.

Now when I need to cry I call Gail, cuz she is a strong woman and she, will tell me like it is. Set me back on the straight path and laugh at me when I need to be laughed at.

Momma you are still there too, to tell me I told ya so and say ugh huh... and is that so and to laugh at me b/c you know that it's your prayers that gave me Emily and you know exactly what I'm in for....... this is me right now ROLLING MY EYES AT YOU! Cuz I know you're laughing.

If I could give advice to my daughter now that she'd listen to, it would be this...
take your grades seriously!! Please don't just get by., try out for every sport you want to and don't let anyone tell you you can't do it. Make friends, lots of them, don't let them walk on you, but don't walk on them either. Don't make ANY boy your life, chances are you will have your heart broken many times before you find the love of your life, and he probably won't be someone you meet in high school. Chances are you'll also break some hearts and it's okay, don't stay if you're not happy. Sex isn't necessary to be popular, or to be in love and if you feel pressured by someone to "do it" please tell me so I can tell Andy, your Dad, and your uncles so that one of them can go beat someones ass. Don't be embarrassed when I really am carrying a pistol or cleaning a gun when you bring your first boyfriend to our home, it's just a little scare tactic, harmless I promise. Don't drink until your old enough and by that I mean legal age... it's not worth it and it's really stupid. Don't smoke pot, and don't do drugs, none of it is cool and I will whip the crap out of you. But as I'm telling you all the Don'ts..... I should say.... DO: laugh A LOT at yourself and your friends. DO: have boyfriends, but never let them "have" you, DO: fall in love, fall out of love, go to homecoming, support your school, fight for what you believe in, have a voice for yourself and be a STRONG WOMAN..... and know that even when I'm pissed, even when I'm so mad at you I can't see straight and you're grounded forever, that I love you, I believe in you and you are PERFECT to me.......
I know now that all those women in my life my mom, my aunts (all of them) my Nana, Gram, Donna.... they all thought I'd be somebody and they were all trying to make sure it happened....... I love you all.... and want to say to you, NOW I KNOW.... NOW I KNOW, and you all possibly were right all along.....

MAN!!! 4 YEARS OF sleepless nights, worries, anger, sadness, happiness, pride, joy... how much grey hair will I have on Emily's graduation night? Anyone wanna make bets?

Been awhile since I posted. It has been a busy summer to say the least. I am so happy to be off of Oahu, HI and onto the mainland. We closed our house on June 17th. It's beautiful, if you follow me on FB then you've already seen the photos. We are settling in nicely. The children have awesome rooms and huge closets. They are starting to make friends, they are also ready for school. Thankfully school starts next week, I couldn't be more excited!! I have so much to blog about, but right now, dinner duty is calling.......... until next time much love to all.

I love Colorado!!

Shutdown... thankfully NO!

If you don't know by now you probably live under a rock, the Government Shutdown was stopped with 45 minutes to go. The republicans and democrats decided not paying our military and leaving 1,000,000 people wondering if they were to report to work tomorrow was a bad idea. It's a shame it got that far and it took so long. Now we have another fight to fight with our elected officials. They will need to decide weather or not to increase the debt ceiling in the next couple of weeks and they will also have to get started on the budget for fiscal year 2012 which is just 4 months away. I have no confidence in the people we've voted to run this country to have a budget in place on Sept 30 2011. I am worried about the future of this country and the financial burdens we are placing on our children and our childrens children.

For me personally, when those LES's appeared online on Friday and it showed my husband only getting paid for 8 days the reality of the situation finally hit home to me. Before that I just figured the politicians would wait until the last minute just to try to make the other side look bad. Well Congress you did it! Problem is, all of you look bad. I am now going to work harder to ensure we save a bit of money each month. We had a little saved but not enough to keep us out of trouble more than 30 days, and it was scary to me.

I hope this is a lesson to many people to do what is right for your family. I also hope that people will not forget 4/8/2011 when they go to the polls next year.

Things are shitty all over the world, it's just hitting home hard at the moment... It SUCKS!

With a government shutdown looming and possibly inevitable, all Government Employees, bite their nails and wait impatiently to see what's gonna happen. Seems to me our worse fears will be realized tomorrow night when congress fails once again to come to an agreement on our fiscal year budget. I wonder if they realize there's only 4 1/2 months left of this fiscal year? According to emails being distributed to service personnel, all military will continue to report for duty, however as long as the Government is shutdown the military will not receive pay. We will recieve pay retroactive once congress gets their heads out of their 4th points of contact. This means in the short term that if no budget is passed tomorrow our US Military will recieve a paycheck on the 15th of the month for Apr 1-8. But that is IT! No more pay and allowances will be given until Congress, well you know, stops playing politics with our money, all the while getting paid themselves.
What does this do to the Military? Nothing in terms of mission. The mission will continue, with few exceptions and to the average American nothing will look different. But what you won't see is how much this will affect military families. Yes I realize that most financial planners say you should have 6 months of reserves in the bank for emergencies. That would require my family to have $15,000 in savings at all times (HIGHLY UNLIKELY). I would like to meet the military families that can do that on just their military income so I can get them to budget my finances. What you the average American won't see is the spouse who is trying so hard to hold down the fort, while his or her service member fights the good fight in a combat zone. You won't see him or her sit at the table and rub their temples as they try to figure out where to rob Peter to pay Paul. You won't see that the commissary he or she relies on for that cheaper milk, bread, and basics is now closed. You won't see them have to dig through kids piggy banks to afford those same essentials off base (especially overseas). You won't see their fears realized as they cannot pay the electric bill or afford to put gas in the car to take the kids to school, or activities, or the Dr. (you also won't see the stress of having to sit in the ER endless hours b/c the Drs offices are now closed too). You won't see all these stresses, but you'll feel them in their body language as they can't afford to go to lunch with you on a whim, or go to the movies, or attend that play date at the Fun Factory. Don't get me wrong people lose their jobs all the time and have all these things crash down on them all at once, I'm in no way trying to belittle that fact, but when you are employed in one of the biggest most important jobs in the nation and you don't get paid it's a sad time. It's uncalled for and it's UNAMERICAN!!!

A soldier awaits half a world away for word on if his combat pay will continue. If his family will have money to eat and survive while he is not there. The mission awaits as well, it's time to head out of the wire, he loads up he's checked his gear he's ready... but his wifes voice still lingers in the back of his mind, her worries, her fears all there clouding his thinking.... and for what??? So that congress can play politics with our military. This congress may not have brought the military into a war, but they are dragging our military families into a financial burden that will have rippling/lasting effects on them and on the economy. And what of that soldier on that mission? Is he focused on it? Will he make the right judgements in combat? That's just one soldier now add another 20,000 with the same fears and thoughts..... hmmm....

My Father-in-law is a Government Employee, he works for the National Parks Service. The NPS is non-essential, that means all the parks will close, all the personnel will be told to stay home. The difference between my dad and us (a military family) is that my dad won't get retroactive pay. He will stay home, cannot work and will not get paid the whole time the Gov't. is shutdown.

My neighbor is a Civilian Employee, considered mission essential, he will continue to go to work but he will be in the same boat we are. Thankfully his and his wifes military retirement will be uneffected. But I'm not sure about their VA Benefits? They may not be able to make appointments for medical?

How this affects my family personally.... we're okay for now. We're okay even until the mid month, we'll probably even survive on 1 weeks pay (my kids like Ramen). It will affect us in the long term if the shutdown lasts too far past the 15th of April. On the 1st like most, my rent will be due, along with my electric, my cable and my phone bills. My credit cards I'm not too worried about as long as they don't go 30 days late it doesn't have an impact on my credit. As most of you know we've purchased a house in Colorado Springs, if our credit takes a bad turn b/c we are reported 30 days or more late, we could potentially lose our loan backing from VA. That's what I'm worried about. Our PCS move could also be impacted. If we don't have a budget we can't get airline tickets and therefore we cannot PCS... UGH!!! I'm stressed!!!!

Oh and Japan, I'm sorry you have experienced yet another earthquake but I won't be sending any money to the RedCross to help you or donating my blankets... I no longer can afford it. Sorry, crisis of our own....

Things are shitty all over the world, it's just hitting home hard at the moment... It SUCKS!

And I still haven't had a smoke! I'm almost 48 hours without one.... I feel like I need one, I know I don't but damn I really want one!!

Again...

I have been 36 hours without a cigarette. Yes I am attempting the quitting smoking thing again. It's hard! But I figured since congress is not going to pass a  budget in time, so we might not get paid and the fact that they are $9.00 a pack that maybe I should focus more on what food I'm buying. Nine bux will get me a lb of turkey lunch meat.

Well....

I keep saying I need to blog, I need to blog... but then I don't. And I try to keep everyone updated on what is going on around here. Since I'll be stressing out a lot now, getting ready for a move and another attempt at quitting smoking, I think I'll have much to say...... Right now I'd just like to say


HAPPY BIRTHDAY AIDEN - I LOVE YOU!!!!!

Induldging in Art ~ Animation

So I finally have figured out animation.... I made some signature tags and Avitars.

Indulging In Art Blog 2

I have the flu. I don't want to clean, I don't want to move, however that means I can lay on the couch and play in my PSPX3. I've been making scrapbook pages and tags.... here are some previews of my work.
also I am including a link to JUICY BITS FORUM check them out its pretty cool. It is FULL of adult content though so if that's not your style don't bother.

Pretty cool I think. These take me about 30-45 minutes each to make. I use scrapkits, and templates from various artist.

Check out my subscriptions, subscribe to some of the artistis sites I do they're all pretty awesome.

Induldging In Art blog 1 - Halloween Tag

so I've been playing a lot in my PSP X3 Program that I love. I've gotten great freebies and bought a few scrap kits to create digital scrapbook pages (which you can see on my Facebook Page) and also some tag type things. I've been following tutorials from designers who are willing to share their creativity, although sometimes I get lost on their instructions and make up my own way to do things. The programs are expensive, some of the other things I want are Alien Skin Eye Candy 6 which does some really cool stuff with plug-ins. If you're not familiar with any of this I'm not expecting you to know what I'm talking about.
Anyway, I thought I'd share my latest attempt at following a tutorial....special thanks to Black Widow Creationz for teaching this to me.
*the link to the tutorial is HERE
*the scrap kit is called peek-a-boo and can be found HERE
*the Tube or poser or girl graphic depending on what you've heard it called is by Elias Chatzoudiz and can be found HERE (a license is required to use this tube from mypsptubes.com)

OCTOBER IS BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Ladies please make sure you take the time to do your self exam. Guys, remind your girls how important and special they are and that they need to take care of themselves.

Please join in the fight against Breast Cancer, send in your Yoplait lids, buy products that donate to BCA Reasearch, and be educated!! Know the risk factors. And protect yourself. Below are links to websites that can help you gain knowledge.

http://ww5.komen.org/

http://www.cancer.org/Cancer/BreastCancer/DetailedGuide/breast-cancer-risk-factors